Over the last 10 years since starting Bambuddha, I have been battling a multitude of internal wars. It was only shortly after creating the business that I began to notice my health slipping, and quickly! I had been on such a high, riding my passion and staying up late, working all hours of the day.. because it was fun; the process of creation was driving my every moment.. until it wasn’t.
The Universe had other plans.
My intention was to be writing about the journey of business creation as it was happening but sadly, I could not keep up with it.
I did write one however in 2017: Creating a Business: The Joy, Pain, Laughter, and Tears.
So, 10 years later, I find myself finally capable of expressing and sharing the story.
Thankfully, I had developed Bambuddha to the point that it could function without much input, the foundation was there, the website built, and the media channels up and running. I didn’t give up, I still believed in myself and now I needed to navigate maintaining and growing a business meanwhile learning how to survive.
Before realizing my health challenges, I was on Caye Caulker in Belize working on the website. I made a friend who had told me they just returned from Envision Festival in Costa Rica and I told them that I had envisioned Bambuddha at Envision Festival as a sponsor. Apparently my manifestation powers were on point because not even 24 hours later, as I published my website and posted on Instagram that we were up and running, Envision Festival commented and said they wanted to collaborate.
In hindsight, this was my confirmation that everything was going to be alright, that myself and the business would be in exactly the right place for when the realization came. It was divine in nature.
In 2015, after the first summer of participating in summer events in Vancouver, BC, Canada, I began to notice a drastic decline in my usual upbeat and vibrant, down for anything energy. I still pushed and took myself to Mexico for a collaboration with a band on tour in the fall and went for the winter to Australia to assess the market and do some events. Acting as if everything was fine, in pure denial of what used to be my proud state of ’I am grateful I am so healthy and can do anything I want’ kind of attitude. I finally accepted that I was no longer myself, because there was no other way forward.
As soon as arriving back into Canada on Christmas Eve and indulging on my last Christmas dinner (of what I thought would be the end of my certain way of eating forever), I began my 3 day coconut oil fast to reset and start fresh for the New Year (2016), just a year after starting the business.
The fate of Bambuddha was turning out to be different than what I had initially imagined. I took a break, I had no other option, I could barely function as a human and if I didn’t shift my priority for my health, I would have no business at all. Thankfully, and by another divine timing situation, I received a business loan just in time before hitting the wall. At least I didn’t have the added worry of financial stress during this tricky time.
I took a 360 turn on my diet overnight - which, in retrospect, wasn’t the best way to approach to this due to the extreme die-off symptoms I would ultimately begin to suffer through. I cut gluten, dairy, meat, sugar, and even fruit. I no longer ate any preservatives, anything with more than 5 ingredients, and I restrained from eating out at all. I ate mainly raw and incorporated superfoods and supplements. It was drastic.. too drastic. I was healing but through the intense ‘getting worse before getting better’ kind of feels.
The only thing I knew for sure at this stage was that I had a severe overgrowth of candida because of yeast infections that just never went away. Deep down I knew there was so much more..
I barely had energy to make it to the store for groceries, and that is almost all the activity I did outside for 2 months - which was a big change from my athletic self who was always running, hiking, and doing yoga. Otherwise, I was in the kitchen preparing everything from scratch and in my ‘off’ moments, laying in bed because I could no longer stand and could barely see. I went in, deep within to talk with my cells and visualize my detoxing and restructuring. On more than one occasion, I felt like I was dying, and had to have the strength and belief that I was to decide that and I chose to fight. It was a dark time in which I actually found so much light.
Despite many telling me if I was so ill I should stay in Canada, I just knew I had to be in Costa Rica for this festival, to be immersed in this transformational environment, blending together business and healing. It was exactly where I needed to be. I don’t know how to pulled myself together to actually get there with all the inventory but I trusted in the process and seemingly had help from the higher ups. Being there was the biggest confirmation that this was the direction to pursue for myself and Bambuddha alike.
From there on out, I was in the persistent pursuit of finding ways to prioritize my health while building the brand.